Reckless Wonders
by HappyBlushCalayapie
Summary: Kaoru is depressed, and Haruhi had a warning dream... not about death, but about the world that was created in the Host Club crumbling around her and taking her down with it. She has to save Kaoru... no matter what the cost of his rescue is. HikaKao not Haruhi-bashing!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 1  
_  
Kaoru had his forehead flat on the table. He wasn't moving. He just seemed…__depressed__. Haruhi, walking by him carrying a tray of cookies, stopped and looked at him.___

"Hey, Kaoru, are you okay?" all he did was moan a little bit. He breathed in, letting his head up a little, and smacked it lightly against the table one time. She put the cookies down on the other side of the table and knelt beside him. She poked his cheek. He didn't reacted. She poked him a few more times, and nothing happened. "What's wrong?" she asked softer. Sill, there was no answer… not even the slightest one. She sighed, stood up, and took the cookies with her. She passed by Tamaki. This whole place seemed to be depressing, today.

"Tamaki, I think something's wrong with Kaoru." She said.

"I think so, too. This place seems kind of_lonely__, right now, but he's the one feeling the worst."_

"Gosh… what's going on with everyone today?" she walked to a couch where Honey was asleep on top of Mori. It seemed that the stoic boy had also drifted off and was snoring quietly. "Even these two are out of it. This isn't Honey's usual nap time."

"Even I feel kind of sick." Tamaki said.

"Tamaki?" she said, looking at him with slight concern.

"Even Kyoya is at home instead of being here. It's probably good that we're not hosting today. Nobody seems in the mood."

"I haven't seen Hikaru, at all…" Haruhi said. "Is he at home?"

"No." someone mumbled. She looked over at the orange-haired teen with his head on the table. "He's not here. That's all."

"Kaoru…" she walked back over to him and sat beside him. He didn't look at her. He wouldn't look at anyone, today.

"I miss my brother…" he said softly. The brunette didn't know why, but she reached out and stroked his wild hair, trying to comfort him.

"Hey… it'll be alright. You'll see him when you go home, right?" she smiled sympathetically.

"No… I won't."

"Why not?" she frowned.

"Because…" he looked at her, his eyes looking dead and lifeless. "Hikaru's dead."

She gasped and backed away from him. His yellow eyes were soulless. She looked at the other hosts as the stood up and started to walk towards her. They nearly reached her as she backed into a corner, fearing for her life, and then… they disintegrated, crumbling to the ground like dust. She saw a ghost in front of the exit. He looked familiar. He opened the door, and she saw him better, about to go into the white light.

"No! Hikaru! Don't go into the light! You'll never be able to come back! HIKARU!" she held out her hand, trying to reach him, but she coduldn't move as he disappeared. Suddenly, she felt the yellow dust of the other dead hosts crawling up her body. Then, she was consumed…  
  
Haruhi woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 2

She jerked up from her laying down position on the couch and looked around frantically. She then felt all over her quickly to make sure she was real. The light in the Host Club, she knew, was real. It was comforting.

"Haruhi, are you okay?" one of the girls in the room asked. A couple of guests looked at her in worry.

"Y-yeah. When did I go to sleep?" she asked.

"You seemed to be feeling unwell so we left you alone. When we came back, you were lying down asleep. Did you have a nightmare?"

"I suppose you could say that… everybody in here was… dead…"

The girls gasped, covering their mouths in surprise.

"Ladies, I'm very sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be very good company today. I'll be more suited to host you tomorrow, okay?"

"Oh… o…kay…" the girls said, quickly leaving her alone. They handed Kyoya some money and switched hosts for the day, sitting on a couch in front of Hikaru and Kaoru.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru said softly. Haruhi could see it in his eyes… that desperate look… all of his affection in that gaze. Hikaru's look was that of lust, capturing his twin's affection and need just in that one look. Then… he looked in her direction, staring at her blankly. She immediately hid, not sure as of why she did so. She saw Kaoru's face change. He was instantly hurt as though he had been shot in the chest. That look in his eyes… she didn't want to see it. She didn't want a repeat of that dream. The soulless eyes from the nightmare haunted her.

She lay back down, shielding her eyes from the light above with her arm. She wasn't going to go back to sleep. She had no plans to. She just had to think of a way to get through this, somehow. She had to talk to Kaoru.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 3

"Come on, Kaoru, let's go home." Hikaru said, not noticing anything wrong at all.

"Can you go on ahead? I'll be home in a little while." Kaoru said.

"Hmm? Why?"

Haruhi watched them from behind the couch she had stayed on all day. How could twins that were so close keep secrets? How could Hikaru not see the anguish behind those innocent eyes? He was acting right now, but she knew that he would be different once he was gone and he had a moment alone. She wondered if he would break apart and end up like his dream world counterpart. She shook her head. She didn't want to think about it. She realized that she had zoned out and not heard their conversation.

"Alright… I guess I'll see you in a few, then…" Hikaru said, suspicious of what his brother was up to. As soon as he left the room, the room became dark. He and Haruhi could still see, but this eerie darkness freaked her out. It reminded her of the nightmare.

Kaoru thought he was alone. He thought that everyone had gone home. He opened up his back and pulled something out of it. Haruhi couldn't see it. It was small, and the boy stared at it longingly… tiredly. It was like some sort of object that could free him of this depression, she supposed. She saw it glimmer a little bit. She saw part of his reflection in it. She gasped, realizing what it was. He saw her behind him with it. He whipped around, but she had already hid again. She covered her mouth to stifle any erratic breathing, and then crawled underneath the couch, thankful that she was slender enough.

'That was a pocket knife…' she thought. 'He wouldn't… he couldn't! Kaoru isn't _that_depressed, is he?' she heard a few red droplets hit the floor. She snapped. She wouldn't wait. She couldn't wait any longer. She was going to fix this. She wasn't going to let this continue. She pulled out from underneath the couch, jumped over the one that Kaoru was sitting on, knocked the sharp object from his hand and pinned him, a wild, fierce look in her eyes.

"Don't do that." She said angrily, yet somehow sounding calm. Her big brown eyes were filled with determination. She looked at his bloody left wrist. "Don't do this to yourself!" he was shaken by her attitude chance. Only Haruhi… only _she_ could tell that something was wrong. Even Hikaru was oblivious. He looked away from her. "Stop hurting yourself. Don't you _dare_ hurt yourself anymore."

"I can't…" he whispered.

"I can't hear you." Haruhi said.

"I can't take it…" he squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from them. She came back to her senses. She sat up, still straddling him, but no longer pinning his arms down.

'Why did I do that?' she looked at him. 'He's hurting… what do I do? I just want to help… I just want to fix this…'

"He looks at you." He said.

"Huh?"

"All the time… everyone does. Everyone looks at you."

"Kaoru…" she said softly.

"What kind of sick game are we running in this place? Playing games with girls' minds so that they pay us. Why do we do it? It's just a game…" he suddenly smiled a little bit, laughing softly, but sounding hysterical. "Yes… just a game. None of it makes sense or matters… ha, ha… ha…" she could see that he was breaking. No… she couldn't let this come true. She shook him, trying to bring him back.

"No! Kaoru! Don't be like this! Everything's going to be fine!"

"Fine? Fine? I know _nothing_ about fine… it doesn't matter… heh… heh.. give me back my knife. I can't die from it, so there's no harm—"

She slapped him. He didn't say anything. He looked up at her, bewildered. She was breathing heavily, staring into his eyes.

"No." she said, embracing him. "No…" he didn't say anything. Suddenly, he found himself hugging her back, and he broke down crying. The blood from his wrist dirtied her uniform, but that wasn't what mattered right now. All Haruhi knew was that this was serious… that something needed to be done.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 4

Hikaru woke up very early in the morning on Saturday. Well, it was early for _him_. It was 10:36, and Kaoru was still asleep. He had showered, but Hikaru didn't see him come in. He looked weak… abused. What _happened_ to him last night? Why did he come home so late?

He reached over and gently touched his cheek. He wanted a better look at his brother. He looked so fragile. Something seemed wrong yesterday. He wished that he hadn't let him stay after in the Host Club. It couldn't have been one of them, though… but if it wasn't then who _did_ it?

There was a knock on his door, and the two twin maids came in.

"Haruhi Fujioka is here to see you." They said in unison. They left the room.

"Haruhi?" he wondered why she was at his home. That didn't mean that he wasn't pleased, though. He left the room and walked downstairs. Maids and butlers tried to inform him that he was still in his pajamas, but he already knew. It didn't matter to him. He thought he looked fine. Somehow, she seemed to be the one that he needed to talk to most, aside from Kaoru. He opened the front door and was about to step out of it, when he nearly ran into Haruhi who was sitting on the steps. She gasped a little bit, looking up at him.

"Good morning…" she said, noticing that he wasn't dressed.

"I would have thought they'd invite you in. Sorry 'bout that…"

"Nah, it's alright." She smiled. It was nice to see a smile after the events of yesterday and this morning. "It feels great outside this morning. It's warm, but not too cool. It just feels _nice_ outside." She sighed happily after a large intake of the sweet air. He gulped a little bit. Yes, she was definitely cute. He sat down beside her. She looked at him. She thought about asking if he slept shirtless on a regular basis, but she decided not to. After all, it wasn't like it was her first time seeing him like this.

"It's kind of early for visitors, not that I mind too much. I woke up before they told me you were here. Not sure why… I slept kind of bad last night."

"Kaoru went straight home, right?" she asked, frowning.

"How did you know he didn't go home with me?"

"I stayed after. I had gone back to sleep." The sleep part was a lie, but the staying after part wasn't.

"He isn't bleeding, but he came back super late, showered, and looked like he had gotten beaten up by a group of thugs." He looked away from her. "I shouldn't have let him stay behind." He was genuinely concerned, she could see that. She frowned even more.

"No… I feel like _I'm_ responsible. I should have made sure he went straight home. He wasn't well after you left. He was…" there were many words she could have used. Many phrases for it, even. She didn't have the heart to use them. Suicidal… cutting himself… self-harming… bleeding… crying… jealous… needing Hikaru. "Feeling sick. Right now, he needs you more than anyone in this world." She looked at him with concern, worry, and sadness in her eyes, meeting his golden eyes with her own brown ones. "I want you to keep a close eye on him. Let him rest. Protect him. Make him happier than anyone ever can."

"Haruhi…?" what was this about? Why was she saying all of this, now?

"Please." She grabbed his hand with both of hers. "If not for him, then do it for me. Please." He was surprised… but partially pleased. He blushed an unnoticeable amount, but with her keen eyes and way of knowing, she saw it.

"That was my plan from the beginning, anyway. I'll just do it a little extra." He tried to sound cocky about it, smiling somewhat sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. She smiled, knowing that he was in good hands. Now, all she had to do was talk with Kaoru when the time came. Until then, things were starting to come together. If she could make Hikaru see without telling him herself about Kaoru's feelings, then everything could go back to the way it was before: just a normal-crazy Host Club filled with a bunch of friends, and _real_ romance between twins, this time… everyone practically a family.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 5

Hikaru went back upstairs to find Kaoru sitting up in bed. He looked like he had gotten out of it, and was sitting on the edge of it near the window. He figured that he had been watching them, wondering what they were saying. It made him nervous, but he wasn't sure why.

"Kaoru…" Hikaru said with a soft, sad smile. He gently embraced him. "I'm so glad you're okay." Kaoru said nothing. He didn't even hug him back. He just listened to him talk, his expression blank. "You came home so late last night. You look hurt… very, badly hurt. What happened to you? Who did this to you?" he looked his brother in the eyes, waiting for his answer.

"You were downstairs talking to Haruhi in your pajamas." He said, changing the subject, his expression still blank.

"Huh? Yeah, so I was. Why?"

"Why was she here?"

"She came asking about you. She said you weren't yourself yesterday. I knew I shouldn't have left you alone." Hikaru looked all over his brother's body on the places he could see. Kaoru had worn a shirt to bed last night, as well as pants. "It's hot, you know. You should get out of those. Let's stay in bed and do nothing but stay with each other, okay?" he smiled a little bit. He was worried, though. Kaoru must have gotten more hurt than he thought and was trying to hide it with his clothes. "Plus, you look better without them." He winked, jokingly flirting with his twin.

There was a glimmer of something in Kaoru's honey-colored eyes. His expression didn't change, but their was a tiny amount of happiness in them from just hearing Hikaru talk to him that way. It wasn't the flirting that did it. He knew Hikaru was kidding about that, and that part kind of hurt. The part that pleased him was that his big brother wanted to spend all day with him on their day off.

"Now, come on. Let's get you out of these clothes."

"That's not necessary. I'm fine." Kaoru sounded worried, and it showed on his face this time.

"Sure it is. Here," he felt of his forehead with the back of his hand. "You're warm. You'd be cooler without them."

"N-no, it's fi—ah!" Kaoru found himself pushed back on the bed, and Hikaru pulled him up so that his head was on a pillow. Kaoru tried to hide the pain that was unintentionally brought back by his brother, and his loose, white shirt was pulled off of him and tossed somewhere else in the room. Hikaru gasped in shock. Kaoru was heavily bandaged, and the bandages were covering deep wounds. He had bled through them in many places, and was bruised on his arms. He saw where Kaoru had slit his right wrist, but didn't assume that that part was his own doing.

"Kaoru…" he said shakily. He looked away from his older brother. He didn't want to see his face.

"It's nothing—"

"Don't _say_ that this is _nothing_!" he said angrily, obviously not at Kaoru, but at whoever had attacked his baby brother. He removed Kaoru's pants. His legs were just as bruised and bandaged. He was fearful of what else would be hurt if he removed his boxer shorts. He slowly reached down to do so, needing to know. Kaoru grabbed his hand to stop him.

"You don't need to see anymore to understand."

"Kaoru…?" he looked up into his eyes. They seemed so far away… so distant. Kaoru looked away from him, down at his injuries and then out the window.

"It's nothing compared to the pain…" he couldn't finish the sentence. It wasn't as though Hikaru would understand, anyway. He smiled sadly, almost cruelly, as he whispered to himself more than anyone else, "I deserved it, anyway." Hikaru's face was contorted with shock and pain for his brother. Kaoru wouldn't look at him. Confused… angry… scared… worried… he couldn't contain himself anymore. He  
Pulled down the boxers and saw more bruises and damage. More than that, was the white, dried substance near his backside that obviously wasn't his own. "Hikaru!" Kaoru said, grabbing his underwear and pulling it back up. He looked his brother fiercely in the eyes, upset, but trying to mask his need to cry with anger, instead. He pushed his brother off and ran away from him, locking himself in the bathroom. Hikaru chased after him and banged on the door.

"Kaoru! KAORU!" he shouted. He slid down onto his knees and the tears fell from his eyes and he shuddered and shivered, his own heart feeling like it had been ripped apart.

'My little brother… was raped… and beaten by strangers… and I wasn't there to save him.' Was the thought that stayed forever imprinted in his mind, scarring him… hurting him… making him weep.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 6

After Hikaru had composed himself enough, he left the house. He didn't know what else he could do. Kaoru wouldn't come out of the bathroom, and he didn't have a key to get inside. He just needed to talk to somebody… anybody.

He ended up wandering to Haruhi's house by foot, and didn't even remember the trip by the time he had gotten there. He was surprised at himself. The trip had to have been more than a half hour by car, so it probably took him double that time to reach her apartment. He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door twice. Ranka answered the door. He was already wearing his make up and dressed, so he recognized him.

"Oh! Hello… um… which one are you—"

"Hikaru. The one that isn't at home heavily bandaged."

"Oh, my… is Kaoru okay?"

"Nothing happened." He lied. "I just need to see Haruhi."

"Oh, I see… but that's surprising. I thought you had a club activity today. She said that she was going there, so I assumed that's what it was for."

"She's at school?"

"Yes. She left a few minutes ago and should already be there." Their conversation ended, and Hikaru left for the school. A few minutes later, he was there. He opened the door quietly and found it to be dark. He looked around the room with his eyes until he found her on the far right side of the room.

"You're in your uniform?" he asked. She jumped a little bit.

"Hikaru!"

"Hi…" he waved once, not smiling.

"Yeah… I put it on just in case anyone from school saw me."

"Ah…" he said. He walked over to her. "I talked with your dad. He said you were here. Why?"

"I have a lot on my mind, that's all…" she was looking at the pocket knife. It still had Kaoru's dried blood on it, and a few droplets were dried on the floor from the first slice he made. He knelt down beside her.

"Pocket knife?"

"Kaoru's." she said sadly. His eyes widened when he saw the blood on it. He remembered seeing some marks on his right wrist, but had though it was part of the injuries from his attackers, not himself. His mind went to their conversation from before.

_"I shouldn't have let him stay behind." He was genuinely concerned, she could see that. She frowned even more._

"No… I feel like_I'm__responsible. I should have made sure he went straight home. He wasn't well after you left. He was… feeling sick."_

"Why didn't you say something?" he asked, his anger not showing only because he was in too much shock.

"I'm glad I was there to stop him from cutting one more time. I knocked it out of his hand and forgot about the knife until just now. I came to clean up the mess so the others wouldn't be drawn into this."

"Why… why is he _doing_ this?"

"Hikaru," she said, looking him in the eye. "I want you to agree with me when I say this: he needs you. He needs you more than a brother can ever need another brother. You need to keep him… no matter what."

"Haruhi—"

"We need to make sure that he knows you and I are just friends."

"Huh?"

"It's what Kaoru would want. Besides… feelings like that would just mess things up, don't you think?"

He frowned at her, feeling slightly hurt.

'_Do_ I like her? Did I _want_ to be more than friends?' he wondered.

"So, you won't let yourself like me, or anyone else in the Host Club?"

"Huh?"

"If somebody else in this club were to approach you and decide that they couldn't live without you, would you tell them what you just told me? That it would only mess things up?"

"Hikaru?"

"Or did I just get friend zoned only to see you get ask out by somebody else?"

He was seriously thinking about it, now.

"Hikaru…" she said softly.

"Haruhi, I've never tried making a promise with somebody else, before. My brother and I used to have two worlds: Us and Everyone Else. I promise that you can be in our world… as a friend."

"Hikaru…" she smiled a little bit. "I'm glad."

"But I can't help but be curious and wonder if I'm wrong…" he said. He leaned closer to her.

"H-huh?" she said.

"Don't hate me." He said. He kissed her. Her lips were soft, but the fact that he felt nothing in the kiss—not because she wasn't kissing back or because she didn't return those feelings—told him what he needed to know. He was fine with being just friends. He broke away. "Promise me that you won't hate me for being curious, and I'll be your friend. Nothing will ever change that." He said seriously. She touched her lips. It was small… but she had felt something… something miniscule. There wasn't a word in her mind that could explain it. It bothered her, though. She needed to brush it off, though. She was right. Kaoru deserved his brother… no matter how wrong it seemed.

"It's a deal." She said, smiling at him genuinely. She extended her pinky to him, and he looked at it for a moment, almost unsure of what to do before finally hooking his pinky with hers, and shaking their hands twice.

They both went their separate ways, one of them feeling like a weight had been lifted from their shoulders, and the other feeling like a tiny weight had been added. Hikaru took the pocket knife with him after they cleaned up the floor, and he started to race home when a thought came to his mind.

'There's an unlocked window in the bathroom. I can get in there by climbing up a tree!' he ran faster and faster, running out of breath, but not caring about it. He wanted to hold his brother close and tell him that everything was alright. He had given up on Haruhi. Just what did she mean by what she said, though?

_"Hikaru," she said, looking him in the eye. "I want you to agree with me when I say this: he needs you. He needs you more than a brother can ever need another brother. You need to keep him… no matter what."_

He started to climb the tree, nearly home to his brother. He brushed his worry aside as best he could. Whatever she meant, he supposed she was right, Kaoru needed him, right now. He needed him more than anything in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 7

Hikaru climbed the tall tree next to the mansion until he reached the window to the bathroom his twin was in. He pushed it open with his foot, and leapt through the open rectangle into the room. There he was, looking weak and bleeding onto the tile. He had broken a small mirror and as using a shard of it to cute his arms, wrists, hands… even his legs. There was a word on his left arm that was hard to read, as it was written with the four letters above one another, and they letters bled into one another: LOVE.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted in shock, grabbing his shoulders after her ran to him from across the room. The bleeding boy continued to cut himself as though his big brother weren't in the room with him. "Stop that!" he grabbed the bloody glass shard and chunked it somewhere away from Kaoru, hearing it shatter, but not caring about the mess. The real thing that matter right now was that Kaoru was the biggest mess of all.

"Hikaru…" he said softly. Hikaru's look softened as well. Had Kaoru come back to his senses? "Did you like it?" he asked, his yellow eyes dull and far-gone.

"Like it? Like what?" he asked, worried, but not sure why, of what the younger one's answer would be.

"My art…"

"Your… art?" he tried to figure out what he meant by that. Art… art… art? He looked him over and his eyes fell on the large word carved into his arm. He had carved it deep as if he intended for it to stay there forever. "Kaoru…" he said darkly, looking down. His hair fell over his eyes. "What could you possibly _mean_ by _that_?"

"Love…" he replied. "Simple, yet refined…"

Hikaru shivered a little bit. He didn't know what to do. It was like his baby brother didn't _care_ what anyone thought about _anything_, anymore. He suddenly hugged him, not caring that his clothes got dirty. He just wanted Kaoru to be safe, but there was nothing that he knew of that he could do. Kaoru didn't reply, or hug back. He just leaned against the door, quietly.

Hikaru took off his dirty clothes, starting with his shirt, his pants, and then his underwear. He removed Kaoru's underwear, as well. The younger twin didn't question anything he did has he stood him up and walked with him into the shower. He turned it on so that the water would be warm, but not _too_ warm. Blood rushed off of the wounds down the drain. He wished that the memories of these hard times between them would wash away, as well, but that was impossible. He would _never_ forget this.

He was afraid to ask him. He was afraid to tell him where he went. He wondered if he could be friends with Haruhi and keep his brother happy. Why would loving her _bother_him so? Not that that mattered anymore. He found that there wasn't anything but friendship between him and her, and was relieved. He didn't know why. He wondered if it was because he was afraid of change in his and his little brother's special world. Maybe Kaoru felt the same way about it.

"I agreed with Haruhi that her and I should just be friends. I realized that there wasn't anything between me and her." Hikaru said as he gently washed the blood off of his brother's body. Kaoru didn't reply. "Maybe she can fall in love with Tamaki. That'd be interesting. After all, he doesn't seem to get that he likes her. He's such a spazz." Still, nothing. "Kaoru… say something. You're awake, right? Who am I kidding, you're holding yourself up enough, so you're still awake…"

"I don't know what to say…" Kaoru said so quietly that Hikaru could barely hear him.

"Hmm? I didn't hear you… does your head hurt? Tell me where so I can wash you gently, there." He took some strawberry shampoo and squeezed it into his palm before rubbing it into Kaoru's hair.

"Mmnn…" Kaoru moaned, leaning back against him.

"Am I hurting you?" Hikaru asked.

"No… it feels good… it feels great." Kaoru replied. Finally, the older twin had gotten him to smile again. He smiled, himself, pleased that things felt a little bit more normal between them once again. Hikaru eventually used one hand on his own hair and one hand on his brother's so that they could finish up quickly. The warm water seemed to be washing their troubles and fears away. If this never happened again, maybe the memories would go along with the sweat and blood that washed down the drain. There wasn't enough money in the world that he could give to make things perfect, again.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 8

He re-bandaged _everything_: his brother's chest, stomach, arms, hands, legs, and a place on his left cheek. Hikaru leaned in to kiss the bandage on that cheek, and Kaoru blushed.

"There. All better." He said with a smile, giving him a hug, again. "Let's go back to our room. I _did_ say I wanted to spend our day off together."

"You left me earlier, though. I thought you changed your mind." Kaoru whispered sadly.

"Never." Hikaru said, cupping his brother's face and looking into his eyes, their noses touching. Kaoru's eyes sparkled. His heart fluttered. He knew they'd never kiss. It made his chest hurt. He ached all over at the thought. "Let's stay together and sleep the day away." He helped Kaoru up and led him back to bed, helping him lay down. Hikaru got on the opposite side of the bed and snuggled close to him, wrapping his arms around him. Kaoru couldn't help it. He was feeling pretty pleased with this even if they wouldn't kiss. His big brother was being so nice and affectionate today that it made him feel like their love was genuine… perfect… real.

"Hikaru…" he said. Hikaru looked up at him. He looked away a little bit, feeling worried and not sure how to say what he anted to say. He had plenty of things on his mind, but he could only start with one. "Do you have any questions for me? Like… why this is happening?" it's not that he wanted to answer him, it's just that he wanted his brother's full attention. Hikaru frowned.

"It's not that I don't want to ask at _all_… it's just that… I'm kind of afraid of hat the answer to the question I wanna ask would be." He answered. Kaoru understood that, so he didn't pressure him. There was something that he definitely wanted, though… something that _he_ was afraid of the answer to.

"Hikaru…" he s aid quietly, embarrassed but hoping to get what he wanted.

"Mm?"

"Will you… kiss me where it hurts?" he looked away again, ashamed. Hikaru leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I know that that's one of the first good places to kiss that hurts." He said.

"My…"

"'My…'?"

"My…" the last part of the sentence was jumbled together as he mumbled it out.

"Your what?"

"My lips… hurt…" he said. He blushed heavily, wanting to look away from his brother, but at the same time, not wanting to look away. Hikaru had no idea what to say.

'I should have seen this one coming.' He thought. 'Do I do it out of pity? I don't want to hurt his feelings if it's only one time. I don't know what to do. Kaoru wants me too, though. And… part of me is curious. The way he looks at me now is not like a brother, but like somebody in love.' His eyes temporarily drifted over to the left arm that was thickly bandaged with white gauze. The word LOVE was carved into his skin underneath it. 'That's why Kaoru's doing this… for attention. This act we do has gotten to him. But… I don't think I'd ever want to do this sort of thing with anybody else. What does kissing _him_ feel like?' he wondered. Kissing Haruhi made him feel nothing, so… what was kissing Kaoru like?

"Kaoru…" he said slowly, seriously. "Is this really what you want?" he leaned in closer to his face.

"Yes…" the younger twin replied, blushing heavily and wanting to run away. He knew that Hikaru was thinking about it hard. It was a difficult decision to make. It was even harder considering the fact that he knew that Hikaru would never go further than that with him or tell him that he loves him afterwards. A kiss was a start, though. It wasn't like he as in any shape to make love, anyway…

'What if he feels something and I feel nothing?' Hikaru thought. That was something bigger to be worried about. It was too late, though. After Kaoru asked him to kiss him, they could _never_ go back to how things used to be between them. 'But… now I want to know.' He leaned in close to him, their noses touching, their hearts pounding… and then they kissed.

Kaoru's eyes widened, not in shock or fear, but in surprise.

'Oh… oh my…' he thought. 'This feels…' it was a simple kiss, but… 'It feels_so__**good**_/b…' his eyes lowered slowly until they shut. Slowly, Hikaru broke away.

'What do I do, _now_?' Hikaru wondered. 'I felt something… something… I felt _something_.' he didn't have a word for what he felt, but yes… whatever he felt was there. The way his little brother was looking up at him underneath him showed him that Kaoru felt it, too. It was too much to bare. Was he supposed to do it again? If not, could he keep himself from doing it again?

"Hikaru…" Kaoru's eyes were filled with pleasure. He needed this… so… much… "It hurts…" he would say that as many times as he had to, to get as many kisses as he wanted. Hikaru knew what he meant. Slowly… hesitantly… he leaned in to kiss him again. Their hearts were pounding in their chests, but Kaoru's was the wildest. He couldn't help it. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down so that the kiss would be deeper.

'Oh yes…' he thought, moaning into the kiss. Hikaru was caught off guard by the feeling, and he was starting to enjoy it a little bit more than he had before. His lips were warm… soft… smooth… sweet.

The kisses were starting to become more frantic. Each time the younger twin told his brother to do it again, they would kiss each other longer and deeper. They both moaned into the kiss for the fifth time, and then it went further.

Their tongues met and rubbed together, tasting the minty flavor from their toothpaste from the last time they brushed their teeth this morning. Kaoru easily submitted to him, and didn't try to fight him as they tongue kissed, breaking away, now, only to breathe. This felt amazing. They didn't want to stop, now, and had stopped wondering why this was happening between them in the first place. They were both feeling so hot. They needed each other. Finally, though, they had to stop. Hikaru collapsed on top of him, his head resting on his shoulder. They both closed their eyes, breathing deeply, finally catching their breath. They suddenly felt so fatigued… but very at ease. Slowly but surely, their heart beats became less erratic until they were calm, their breathing became steady, and their eyes stayed shut for hours as they slept the day away, forgetting any troubles that they had on this Saturday morning.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 9

Hikaru woke up first.

'Wow…' he thought, looking at his still-sleeping twin, who looked so peaceful, and then out the window after noticing the time, which read: 7:30. It was darker than it should have been outside because the sky was covered in black, angry storm clouds, and it was raining loudly and thundering. 'This is the perfect sleeping weather. No wonder we slept so hard…' he thought of the other hosts. 'I bet the others are fine, and all… but Haruhi's probably hiding under a table or in a closet. Poor girl… she definitely needs someone to care for her during times like this.'

-

Hikaru didn't know the half of it. Hiding underneath an abandoned stall behind a curtain in the quiet marketplace was Haruhi. She hadn't made it home in time, and had nowhere else to go.

_"I'll always be here for you. Call on us when you need us."_ she remember Tamaki saying. She shakily called him. He answered warmly, knowing that she'd ant it that way.

"Help… In the outdoor market… help…" That's all she said before hanging up on him. She managed to sound as calm as she could so as to not seem weak. Even at times like this she couldn't help but remember her pride.

It only took him five minutes to find the outdoor market. He called her name several times, and had forgotten his umbrella as he had rushed to her rescue. When she heard him nearby, she tossed her pink flip flop out in front of him. He saw it, picked it up, looked it over, and then looked in the direction of here it came from. He saw her feet from beneath the curtain, lifted it, and saw her there. He knelt down and placed the shoe back on her foot before she embraced him, glad to have him there for her.

They took off running handing in hand without a word. The closest place they could get to was her home. If they ran the whole way, it wouldn't be that long until they reached their destination.

Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby tree, and it fell, on fire, in their path. They stopped, fearful, and changed their direction. This was no time to panic. Haruhi needed him to be serious at this moment. They were steered far away from where they needed to be. There was another home they could go to that wasn't blocked from their way. It as all he could think of as he started to run with her again.

-

Kaoru slowly opened his eyes and saw that his brother was sitting up, looking at the storm.

"It's like we died, today…" he said. "We slept for, like, seven hours or something like that…"

"It's been quite a show. The lightning has been striking constantly." Hikaru replied. "I guess we needed the rest. Do you feel any better?" he looked at him.

"Yeah. I feel a lot better, actually." Kaoru smiled and wrapped his arms around his waist, sighing happily. Hikaru smiled as well and stroked his soft, orange hair. Then, Kaoru frowned a little bit. "I still don't get why you did it…"

"Did what?"

"Told me that Haruhi wasn't interested in you and that you're not interested in her."

"Her and I even decided that if she wanted to fall in love with someone in the club that I would be glad for her. We pinky promised and everything."

"First time promising with someone else besides me…" Kaoru said.

"Yeah. It feels kind of weird."

"Hikaru?" he looked up at him and slowly let go of him as he sat up. His big brother looked at him and found that his lips were captured in a small, light kiss on his lips by his twin. It didn't last very long, but it made Kaoru happy that he could do it at all. He embraced Hikaru and laid his head on his shoulder.

'I'll get used to this, someday.' Hikaru thought, holding Kaoru and rubbing his back a little bit, figuring that his touch would help to heal him quicker.

Their door opened and the twin maid girls came in.

"You have guests." They said.

"They're very wet." One of them said. They left the room so that they could get more sensibly dressed.

"Do you feel well enough to come see who it is with me?" Hikaru asked.

"I think so." He stood up. "Are we just gonna go down there like this? In pajama bottoms and nothing else?"

"Why not? I'm not in the mood to care about what people think about how I look today. That's not my top priority today." He pulled Kaoru to him for a second long kiss. He was beginning to get used to it, already. "Let's go." Kaoru linked his arm with Hikaru's, and they walked downstairs together. "You know," he said to the maids as they reached the top of the staircase to start heading down. "You two are getting kinda sloppy at your job. You haven't told me who our guests were two times in a row, now!"

"We apologize." They said, bowing politely.

When they were nearly at the bottom of the stairs they could see their guests. It was a soaking wet Tamaki and a sopping wet Haruhi, who was clinging to him and shivering, looking cold and afraid.

"Haruhi…" Hikaru said. Kaoru immediately hugging his arm tighter. He didn't like the way he still said her name. He looked at Kaoru, feeling worried, now.

Moments later, they were sitting on couches together and their guests were rubbing their heads with fluffy white towels.

"Sorry for intruding. You two were closest." Tamaki appolgized.

"I thought Haruhi's house was closest to the outdoor market." Kaoru said, not looking at them and not holding his brother's arm anymore.

"It is, but a tree was struck by lighting. It fell and there was fire and we had no idea what else to do but come here. Is it fine if we stay until the storm is a little less rough? Even _I'm_ feeling pretty shaken up…" the blonde said. Haruhi felt embarrassed. Her pride was hurt a little, but she couldn't help it. It was better than being left alone in the rain catching a cold and waiting for it to go away.

"It's fine." Haruhi said softly. "If you want us to leave, we'll do so. I can tell we're bothering you." She was referring to Kaoru rather than Hikaru. Hikaru was a little bit nervous, and the situation was awkward, but Kaoru was mad. She could tell. It reminded her of when Hikaru had gotten angry at her when he old friend from years ago had returned and visited with her. He was a little bit better at hiding it, though, and wasn't as blatant about it.

"We can get you a limo to take you both back." Kaoru said, looking up at Haruhi. He was less than pleased.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru whispered, trying to quiet him.

'I see…' Haruhi thought. 'He still feel threatened by me…'

"Hikaru, can I borrow Kaoru? I want to ask him something." She asked.

"Um… I guess…" his eyes showed how worried he was. Kaoru had gotten possessive, now. What if he hurt Haruhi? He stood up and walked away with her as Tamaki and Hiakru watched them leave.

"You got really hurt. I wish I had made sure you went strait home that day." Haruhi said regretfully.

"It's fine." He said irritably. She grabbed his face gently, surprising him. He was forced to look at her concerned face, but it didn't hurt.

"I'm really not interested in him. I promise that there isn't anything between us."

"Haruhi—" he said, surprised. She cut him off.

"I didn't mean to barge in so soon. I just needed some help, and this is the closest refuge we had. I know things are messed up and awkward, but I'm hoping that you two come back to the Host Club as soon as you can and try to continue like normal. After all…" she smiled reassuringly. "Who's more perfect for Hikaru than Kaoru?"


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 10

Haruhi walked back into the room, and Tamaki ad Hiakru went silent and looked at her.

"So, how'd it go?" Hikaru asked nervously.

"Pretty well." She replied.

"And Kaoru?" Tamaki asked.

"He'll come back a little later. He's getting us a room." She smiled. "He says we can stay the night." Hikaru was glad. He didn't know what happened, but whatever it was, it made him trust Haruhi in their home. He was happy that they could all be friends, now.

"_A_ room?" the blonde asked.

"He says that their aren't really any guest rooms since neither of them had any guests, really." She shrugged. "Guess we're sharing a room tonight."

Hikaru nearly smirked. He covered his mouth and cleared his throat, trying to keep himself from cracking up. Kaoru had lied. Even if they didn't have guests, they most_certainly_ had guest rooms. He could see what his little brother was doing and thought it was clever.

-

'She see's right through us… and then accepts us.' Kaoru thought as he arranged the bed for the two hosts. 'She really _is_ amazing. I wonder why I was so worried? This plan will work. There's nothing to fear…' he headed back to where the other three were.

-

"I'll get some fresh towels for you two. Or, maybe I'll get the maids to do it. You two need a shower before you go to bed. It's gonna be kinda late by the time you're ready." Hikaru said.

"So, who's going first?" Tamaki asked Haruhi.

"Doesn't really matter, to me."

"I guess I will, then…"

"How 'bout together?" Hikaru suggested deviously, trying to hide his smirk.

"What?!" they yelled.

"Sure, why not? After all… _Haruhi_ isn't worried about the difference between girls and guys, right boss?" he winked at the king, and he turned crimson with embarrassment. Haruhi looked annoyed.

"I know _that_ much of a difference. It wouldn't do any good for him to see me naked." She crossed her arms. Tamaki whimpered, partially from embarrassment, and partially because he wanted t see her naked, on some level.

-

"Hikaru?" Kaoru said, peeping around the corner. His big brother smiled warmly at him.

"Man, feels like you've been gone for a whole lot longer than five minutes. Tell the maids we need some towels and rags. They're taking ashower together."

"WE ARE NOT!" they shrieked. Hikaru laughed. They were funny and gullible.

"Relax, you guys. You're so funny. Did you know that gullible is written on the ceiling?" Hikaru said, trying his hardest not to laugh some more. Haruhi put her hand on Tamaki's head to keep him from looking up.

"That kind of proved it." She said.

"It's also not written in the dictionary." Kaoru said, adding to the fun that Hikaru had started. Tamaki opened his mouth to ask for a dictionary, but Haruhi placed her hand on his shoulder and said,

"It's not worth it."

-

A few minutes later, the four were walking down the hallway.

"I've never really been in your house." Tamaki said.

"Me neither…" Haruhi said.

Tamaki and Hikaru were walking front, talking about the house and how gullible wasn't in the dictionary and might be on the ceiling, and Kaoru and Haruhi were a few feet behind them, taking their time.

"So, you sleep in the same bed, right? How far have you two gotten? You seem a lot closer." She whispered.

"All we've done is kiss. I'm too injured right now to go further, but I sure as Hell won't wait forever." he whispered back.

"Hey, you two, keeping secrets from us?" Hikaru asked. They both turned red and jumped a little, both guilty.

"N-never mind…" they said.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 11

"Alright, you two… we've got you both some clothes and towels and rags. Go wash up." Hikaru said.

"We're _not_ taking a shower together." Haruhi said irritably.

"Why not?" Kaoru asked, having fun messing with them even though they both knew better.

"B-b-because it's _indecent_, that's why! Haruhi's a girl, and I'm a boy! W-we don't need to be in that kind of…" he started blushing, his mind wandering to strange places. "…situation…" he got a goofy grin on his face. Haruhi smacked him. "Oww…" he said, holding his head.

"You could go in bathing suits." The twins suggested deviously, having a lot more fun with this.

"N-no! That's still too much skin! Young girls should be more dignified than showing so much to a man she has yet to marry!" Tamaki said. He imagined her in that ruffled pink bathing suit he had never gotten to see her in except in his fantasies.

"Oh?" the twins said, smirking. "Are you implying that _you're_ going to be the one to marry her?" they said placing their arms over his shoulders on either side of him.

"Hey, Kaoru… cute couple, right?"

"And he has naughty thought about her in the bath… what a perverted old man." Kaoru said, teasing and going along with what Hikaru was saying.

"I-I-I WILL SHOWER FIRST!" Tamaki yelled, running away with a towel and a washrag in his hands. A minute later, he poke his head out the door, looking pathetic. "I forgot my clothes and I can't come out, now…" he whimpered.

"Here." The twins said, tossing him some pajamas. The blonde caught them. Still flustered, he muttered a 'thank you' as he closed the door to take his shower.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Reckless Wonders  
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club  
Pairing: HikaKao  
Chapter 12

"'Kay, you can shower here, Haruhi." Kaoru said.

"Wait…" she said, stopping in front of the door. "If you had more than one shower, why did we just have that argument?" she asked.

"'Cause it's fun." The twins said. She sweat dropped and opened the door.

"Good grief." She walked inside and closed it. Hikaru knocked on the door and she poked her head out.

"What?" she asked irritably.

"You forgot your clothes. It'd be more of a problem for you than Tamaki, right?" Hikaru said. She snatched them from him, muttered a 'thank you' out of habit, and slammed the door.

"I think she's annoyed with us." Kaoru said, not concerned, but rather amused.

"Yeah… whatever, right?" Hikaru said. "Let's go use another shower. If they get out before us, it doesn't really matter, right?" Kaoru followed behind him.

"Be gentle with me, okay?" he said softly. "I'm still hurt…" the older brother slowed his pace so that they could walk side by side.

"Please stop looking so sad. It makes me feel guilty…"

"We're both shirtless. It's not like you can forget about my injuries."

"I'd like to _try_, though."

"The soap's really gonna sting…"

"I'll b careful… as careful as I can, okay? But let's change the subject to something less…" he couldn't put the right word on it. "…Let's just go, already." They reached the third bathroom, the one nearest to their room. They started to undress, hen Kaoru moaned a little bit in pain when he tried to get any of his clothes off.

"Let me help." The older twin said, helping him remove his pants and underwear. He frowned ever more, remembering what he had seen that day.__

"It's nothing compared to the pain…" he couldn't finish the sentence. It wasn't as though Hikaru would understand, anyway. He smiled sadly, almost cruelly, as he whispered to himself more than anyone else, "I deserved it, anyway." Hikaru's face was contorted with shock and pain for his brother. Kaoru wouldn't look at him. Confused… angry… scared… worried… he couldn't contain himself anymore. He_  
Pulled down the boxers and saw more bruises and damage. More than that, was the white, dried substance near his backside that obviously wasn't his own. "Hikaru!" Kaoru said, grabbing his underwear and pulling it back up. He looked his brother fiercely in the eyes, upset, but trying to mask his need to cry with anger, instead. He pushed his brother off and ran away from him, locking himself in the bathroom. Hikaru chased after him and banged on the door._

"Kaoru! KAORU!" he shouted. He slid down onto his knees and the tears fell from his eyes and he shuddered and shivered, his own heart feeling like it had been ripped apart.

'My little brother… was raped… and beaten by strangers… and I wasn't there to save him.' Was the thought that stayed forever imprinted in his mind, scarring him… hurting him… making him weep.  


He felt like crying all over again, but held back the tears. He took a second to compose himself before looking up at Kaoru with a plastered-on smile, trying to be strong for him.

_There was a word on his left arm that was hard to read, as it was written with the four letters above one another, and the letters bled into one another: LOVE._

He couldn't help but look at that bandaged arm. He knew that he'd see that word… that there would be dried blood on the wounds so that he could see the word clearly. It made him hate himself, but he would have to remove the bandages and help his brother wash himself. He would have to see what had been done to Kaoru all over again. It was _impossible_ for them to forget.

_"I deserved it, anyway."_

He hated hearing that the most. His brother hated himself _so much_ that he believed that he deserved to be raped and beaten half to death. It was a wonder that Kaoru came home alive, at all…

He didn't realize how he was looking at his brother until he felt his face be cupped gently with both of Kaoru's hands, and felt soft lips press to his for a few moments. He pulled back and looked into the older twin's eyes again.

"Please stop being so sad. I know what you're thinking." He looked away a little bit. "But for the sake of our guests… let's try to be happy." Hikaru didn't reply for a little while. He just quietly breathed in and out as he adjusted the water in the shower, letting his little brother in first so that he could join him and help wash away the memories.


End file.
